It was hard, really hard, when I went back to work. I remembered crying like crazy the night before I had to leave my little 3 month olds. But I survived. 3 months later, I went through a little depression. Every time I went to work I felt like it was just so wrong. Like every part of me was telling me not to leave. But you do what you gotta do. And it was great knowing that my sister was keeping the girls and they were in such good care.
Now we are at another crossroad. Laura has decided that she wants to have another job and get an apartment of her own. I guess when she did not go back to school this year because she missed the deadline, I secretly hoped she would just keep watching the girls until next August. But she wants to "spread her wings" or whatever. She went and looked at apartments today with her potential roommate and apparently they found a place they love.
So there are some other things that need to play out, but it seems as if she is dead set on leaving our little family. Today I went back to the daycare I really liked when we were looking a year ago. They do not have any openings for their infant 3 room, which they would be in until they turn a year old. They do have an opening in their Toddler 1 room. Of course they cannot go into that until they are a year, which will be in October. Laura wants to leave in September 1. So, what will we do for a month?
And the other dilemma.. They have raised their prices - new ownership. 2 babies (or toddlers) would be a little over $1500 a month! Wow.
I guess I never really wanted to put them in a daycare, even though I knew the day would one day come. I am having a hard time with it. I love my job, but I would much rather be home with them.
We are not in the position where I can stay at home right now, so I guess I just have to suck it up and face the inevitable. But, as good at this daycare is, I still teared up when I left.
We have given my sister every possible offer under the sun in the hopes that we can delay the daycare scene, but I have a feeling our attempts are futile. I know it is not the end of the world and children do great in daycare. We have been lucky to put it off for this long. But I cant help not wanting to leave them in the hands of some stranger.
So pray that I find peace with this because I know it is not going to be easy.